Post Number 71 - A Time for Healing

Our time in Borneo ended all too soon and while others in our tour group were heading home to return to their lives, we had one more adventure in store- a healing retreat in Ubud, Bali. A friend had told me of this amazing place which had been operating for more than 50 years and used fasting, diet, movement, yoga, meditation and colonics to heal and detox the mind, body and spirit.

After twelve days of constant travel, we were both looking forward to staying in one location for seven whole days, where we could relax and enjoy nutritious food. The journey took longer than expected and once again, we arrived completely exhausted after a 4.15am start and arriving at 7pm. But the grounds and our little bungalow looked amazing and welcoming and we quickly dropped our luggage and ventured up the narrow cobblestone road to find a little restaurant for dinner.

The following day I began my healing program which I soon discovered was quite a rigorous one. Each day consisted of being awoken at 5.30am and greeted with a herbal tea, a 6am sunrise walk for one hour, followed by yoga and meditation until 9am. Breakfast for me consisted of a fresh cold pressed juice, a turmeric shot, some supplements and another herbal tea. Then I had several treatments each day as well as a colonic.

At first everything seemed wonderful and relaxing and while my first colonic was a little strange and uncomfortable, I soon felt the benefits of this amazing treatment. By the end of day one however, I started to develop a headache and day two became even worse. During yoga I continually felt nauseous and just wanted the session to end when a loud banging noise interrupted the class. Someone yelled “earthquake” and we all bolted out of the open air yoga studio as fast as our legs could carry us. We stood outside and watched as the windows rattled and shook. Well that sure was one eventful way of getting out of yoga and meditation!!

I continued with my treatments, despite continuing to feel unwell. Food was offered to make me feel better but food was the last thing I wanted. This was the detox process that I had to go through and by day three, I started to feel amazing and I actually enjoyed the sunrise walk and the yoga session.

By now I was starting to feel sorry for Sebastian as he had needed to entertain himself while I had treatments that lasted several hours. He participated in the daily walks and yoga, but by 10am he was usually on his own. We talked about him attending a cooking class when a fellow patron offered to take him to a class. She made all the arrangements and the next morning they left at 7.30am and arrived back at 1.30pm. I started to grow concerned by 1.15pm when they hadn’t yet returned. I started asking myself if I had done the right thing, letting him go with a complete stranger. But I continued deep breathing, calming myself and telling myself that they would be back any minute. The relief was immense when I saw them finally come down the path.

By now I was feeling physically and mentally amazing. Completely pain free and ready to take on a mountain. So we did! Mt Batur that is. An active volcano and famous for the challenge of climbing it in the early hours of the morning to watch the sun rise from the top. It would be a challenge of epic proportions and I was advised that it was not suitable for children. However, we were determined to do it, so on day five of my juice fast, we were woken at 2.15am, given herbal tea and fresh coconut water, two bottles of freshly made juice and four bananas (I was advised that I would need some sustenance to be able to complete the climb).

Armed with one backpack, jackets, water, head torches and just a phone for photos, we made the one hour car journey to the base of the mountain. We met our guide (Gday was his name), made a quick last toilet stop and began our climb at 4am, along with hundreds of other tourists from all over the world.

A quarter of the way up and I needed to urgently stop. A feeling of total weakness came over me, like the life-force had just drained out and I couldn’t take one more step. Slowly I ate one of the bananas and Sebastian ate one also and within minutes, I was ready to go again. Our guide held Sebastian’s had the whole way up, while I had minimal assistance. I needed to stop several more times than other people, but my determination to get to the top kept me going. At one point, near the halfway point, the rocks where steeper to climb and I began to struggle again. Out of the darkness came an old man wearing thongs. He reached out his hand and his strong grip pulled me up the rocks, step after step, all the while mumbling about buying a cocoa-cola when we get there.

At the halfway point I understood what his mumblings were about. He wanted me to buy a drink from him in return for his help to climb. I gladly purchased a drink from him, albeit not a cocoa-cola. I bought what I thought was water, but it turned out to be a kind of sport ion drink. We shared the small bottle of liquid and continued up the mountain, stopping several times for me to catch my breath, my usually painful knees never giving me any grief what-so-ever. Nearly at the top and many people were stopping for a rest break and many would watch the sunrise from this position. Our guide suggested we end the climb here and that we could still see everything from this spot. Sebastian and I looked at each other, looked up the mountain and said, almost simultaneously, no way, we have come this far, we have to get to the top now.

 
Arriving at the top and we were overcome with emotion. The wind blew hard and cold, sand smashing us in the face. We hugged each other and cried while our guide got us a mat to sit on and his own personal blanket to keep us warm while we sat and watched the sun rise through the clouds. Words can’t describe the feeling of being on that mountain. That feeling of being able to accomplish absolutely anything when the odds are stacked against you. That moment will stay with us forever. Our bond as parent and child forever concreted into our souls. I was so proud of how Sebastian handled himself on that mountain. Never complaining, never faltering and carrying our backpack three quarters of the way up.

The way down was somewhat more relaxed as we took an alternative route down which was longer but easier by far. A little way down and we were shown the large crater and the steam rising through the cracks. Monkeys also awaited the tourists and looked forward to a banana or a cracker from the guides.

From that day on, nothing ever felt a challenge. We had literally climbed a mountain so we could achieve anything. On our last day in Ubud, we did a little shopping at the marketplace, however the constant badgering and bartering became unbearable and we soon hightailed it out of there to look for a bus stop that should have been close by.

We had set our sights on a sound healing in a place called the "Pyramids of Chi". We knew a session was soon to start and they offered a free shuttle bus service. We walked and walked, asked so many people but no-one knew what we were talking about. I had lost the brochure that I had picked up the day before which hadn’t helped our cause. With only twenty minutes before the session was to start, I was desperate. Sebastian so disappointed that we would miss this opportunity, angry with me for spending too much time at the markets, I asked a scooter driver if he knew the location. He said he did and would take us there in 10-15 mins.

Before I knew it, we were on a scooter, driving through the crazy, busy, no rules, narrow streets with no helmets! Seb on the front with me on the back! Five days prior, I believed only crazy people would attempt this style of transport and I certainly wouldn’t put my son at risk doing such a thing. And yet, here we were, doing it and again, a wave of calm came over me as our driver dodged and weaved and dodged and weaved and to his word, we arrived in one piece with five minutes to spare! I was so overjoyed that I hugged the driver who was a little taken-aback by my excitement. Sebastian’s wind swept face, aglow with excitement as he thought the ride was fantastic!

The sound healing was truly out of this world as we lay down on soft mattresses in a large pyramid structure. Gongs, drums and sounds of all kinds energised the room and made every cell in our bodies vibrate. It was a truly epic finish to our seven days of healing.

That night we headed to the craziest airport I had ever been in, as we started our journey home. A midnight flight to Adelaide would see us arrive at 6am in the morning. The plane was full to the brim, uncomfortable and tiring but it felt good to touch Australian soil once more. The chill of the morning biting our faces as we took our transport home. We let ourselves in, turned on the heater and curled up in bed together to catch a few hours’ sleep. We had done it! Three weeks in Malaysia and Indonesia and lived to tell the tale! What couldn’t we do now?

Post Number 70 - A Trip of a Lifetime

As another successful semester of student clinic came to a close, I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to take Sebastian on a holiday to remember. He would be turning 10 soon and I would be graduating from Uni at the end of the year, so the timing seemed  perfect to get away during the winter school break.

My first thoughts were New Zealand, somewhere not too far away. But after seeing three travel agents, it was clear that this would not be a great option for us during the winter months. A touring company called "Intrepid" was presented to us. A company who specialised in family trips and adventures. This was just what we were looking for, an adventure that catered for the young and the young at heart.

The only trip that suited our budget and our travel dates was the "Borneo Family Adventure". It sounded perfect in every way, however, I grew very anxious about taking Sebastian to Malaysia, a country that I wasn't sure of it's safety, especially as a women travelling alone with a child. What was I thinking? And then there were travel warnings stating not to travel there unless absolutely necessary, the fear of pirates, identity theft, diseases such as vaccine induced polio, rabies, malaria, dengue fever or other mosquito transmitted diseases. Would this trip really be worth all these risks?

My head said "no way", and yet, I was still driven forward. I tried to look for another option, but nothing worked. Eventually, with some help from my emotional health coach, I let the fear go and booked the trip with only five weeks to prepare.

The preparation time flew and before we knew it, we arrived at our destination of Kota Kinabalu after 12 long hours of travel.  We breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get some sleep in a small hot and stuffy room. We were both so tired that neither of us noticed the air-conditioning switch on the wall! The following morning we gingerly ventured out of the hotel, armed with a map, a few dollars of Malay ringgit and some Indonesia rupiah, and headed towards the wharfs to catch a boat to an island. We really had no idea what we were doing and had very little cash with us. Once arriving at the docks, we were very quickly pounced upon and asked if we wanted to go to an island. These young fast talking men all wanted us to get on their boat and we were quickly educated that a) they only deal in cash and b) they only use Malay Ringgit and not Indonesian rupiah as we had been advised. Luckily, there was a money exchange nearby and we converted what we thought would be enough money to get a boat ride to an island and hire some snorkelling equipment. That left us with enough small change to perhaps buy an ice cream on the island.

Arriving at the island, our boat off in the distance, we were advised that we needed to pay an island conservation fee which totalled 4x the amount of money that we had in our possession. We looked at each other in dismay, explained and showed what we had. Of course, credit card was not an option. Seeing our distress, the woman behind the counter took all the small change we had and let us through.

We sat on the beach and took a deep breath. I was still shaking and wondering if I had made the right decision to come to Borneo, as this wasn't a good start. And yet, we were here, sitting on a beach, on an island off the coast of Kota Kinabalu. We asked a life guard if we could leave our bags with him (as we had no money to use a locker), so we could both enter the water and see some fish. The sand consisted of ground up coral which was hard to walk on. The water was warm, yet refreshing and once we negotiated our snorkelling equipment, we were on our way to seeing some tropical fish. We entered the water a second time when Sebastian realised his snorkel had detached from his mask. We desperately looked everywhere for it, but it had most likely been swept away by a wave as we tried to enter the water backwards with our finns on. Sebastian burst into tears as he remembered the warnings from the man we hired the equipment from "don't lose it or you will have to pay"!

We found a shady place to sit and relax, eating our snacks that we had brought along. There wasn't much we could do. Sebastian played in the sand while I read a book and tried desperately not to stress about the lost snorkel and how I would pay for it without any cash. Hours later, it was time to return to the mainland and I thought I would ask the friendly lifesavers if any snorkels had been handed in. They said no, but one pointed to something in the sand just near the waters edge. We ran over to it and sure enough one had been washed to shore. While it wasn't the one Sebastian had lost, it completed his set and we rushed to the jetty to board our boat in the hope that all would be okay.

Once back to the docks, we handed the equipment back to the man who had been waiting for our return. We hurriedly walked on when the man yelled "excuse me lady". My heart sunk as we stopped and turned around. "I think you mix up the snorkel" he said.  "Oh, is it ok?" I questioned hopefully. He looked at me, paused, smiled and said, "is ok, is ok". We thanked him and walked  quickly away.

What a day we had, all this and the tour hadn't even started. But even through the stress of it all, the unfamiliar surroundings, the smells, the culture and language differences, I felt an undeniable calm. We were being looked after and we would be okay.

As our tour began, we met the other four families and our tour guide, and this same feeling of calm continued to stay with us. When things could have gone terribly wrong, they just didn't. When an experience could have been ruined by heavy rain, the sun shone and when the activity was over, the heavens opened. We began to notice our room numbers having some significance. Our first room number being 1016 with 10 being Sebastian's age at his soon to be birthday and 16 being the date of my birthday. Then we had 1908, a number I use a lot in passwords including my iPad and phone and in other password combinations. Then 53, the age I will be at my soon to be birthday, and 711, signifying July 2011, when we travelled to Germany together as a family, a dream of Mark's to travel overseas. And finally room number 902, a number I could not decipher and finally I thought all these room numbers were merely a coincidence. But then Sebastian said, but wait Mum, didn't you say that yesterday was the "best day e-v-e-r"? I agreed I had said that, as we had once again been on a beautiful island spending most of the day snorkelling on different reefs and seeing the most beautiful uninterrupted display of nature I had ever seen. "Well yesterday was the 11th and 9+0+2=11, so there you have it" he grinned, his mathematical mind much like his fathers.

I can't deny that this adventure has opened me up to travel, strengthened my faith, filled my heart with love and gratitude and made me feel alive again. The happiness I feel inside is undeniable, as is how proud I am of myself for facing my fears and letting them go. Sebastian also made a new friend along the way and embraced the journey with as much grace as I knew he would. He too has grown a little more mature and learned more about himself and the world around him. This journey was as much a personal growth journey as it was a physical one. A fearless inner strength now burns inside both of us, as our lives begin to move into new areas. Me with my Nutrition Business and Sebastian as he grows into adolescence.  But the journey was not yet over...

 

 

Post Number 69 – A New Future Emerging

Nearly twelve months have past since I last wanted to share any aspect of my life with the world. My constant cries of “no, I am NOT ok” went unheard or ignored leaving me depressed and wondering what my purpose in life really was. Sure, I had an amazing son who I love more than life itself, but was that enough to get me out of bed each day?

My pain and fatigue continued to destroy my quality of life and while acupuncture gave me some relief, it was not enough to keep me feeling well. I continued on my quest to uncover what was causing my ill-health. I went to more practitioners, doctors and specialists seeking answers. Each time, thinking, yes, this is it, only to find out that it wasn’t.

As the first semester ended in July, I had run out of options and run out of class-room opportunities to learn. My days of classrooms and exams were over and soon I would be in our clinic rooms seeing clients with real health issues, just like my own. The thought of this was paralysing. If I couldn’t fix myself, how I could I help others? But then, no other practitioner could help me either!

I decided the only thing I could do, was to take a holiday. A break from life, study and thoughts of the future. I spent weeks organising for a house sitter, a dog sitter and respite care for Mum. The night before we were due to leave, I had no energy left to even pack our bags. To finally fire-up the old girl and drive out the driveway was a feat of epic proportions.

Sebastian and I headed for Mt Gambier, followed by The Great Ocean road. I had serviced the old girl who also needed new tyres and several thousand dollars later, it seemed our holiday would have to be on a tight budget. But it didn’t matter, we had each other and everyone was cared for, so we could relax and enjoy the journey.

From the Great Ocean Road we travelled inland to Sovereign Hill to experience the magical Christmas in July celebrations. It was such an amazing experience and we both felt extreme happiness. The two weeks went by at lightning speed and before long we were back home and back to reality. I now had a week to prepare for my next Endeavour experience-working in clinic as a student nutritionist practitioner.

I organized as much as I could, but nothing could really prepare me for the intensity of this environment. The time pressures, all the different procedures, restrictions, supplementations, computer systems and operational know-hows completely overwhelmed me. I fell apart several times in the first weeks as supervisors yelled at me for not managing my time correctly or for not asking the right questions or for not red-flagging a client file and following protocol. Never in my life had I felt so incompetent and yet, I knew that I wasn’t, but I couldn’t find my feet or calm my nerves. Every mistake I made confirming that I wasn’t cut out for this work and I was close to quitting.

By mid-semester I had seen a few clients, several of them with quite complex health issues. I had begun unpacking their life and health journeys and started identifying the underlying factors driving their ill-health.

By the second half of the semester, clients were returning with improvements in their conditions and pathology reports that reflected my suspicions. I started identifying heavy metal toxicity in several of my clients as well as myself. The more I researched, the more I found on how toxicity effects bodily functions such as the liver, the thyroid, brain health, weight and iron levels. In helping my clients, I began to see the potential answers to my own health challenges and the path forward started to unfold.

As the semester finished, I had my three supervisors review my clinical performance and I was blown away with their positive comments and their high grading of my work. I was told that I had gone above and beyond and obviously worked hard on researching and piecing together the health of my clients. For me, I was just glad that I could make a difference in someone’s life and that all these years of study was beginning to amount to something significant.

With the semester ended and no exams to study for, I was free to breathe, reflect and look forward to a visit from my beloved Cousin from Germany. I spent my days planning special events, gatherings and ways to show her our beautiful state. Her three weeks were full of laughs, spontaneous singing and constant joy and it was one of the most special Christmas’s I had ever experienced. We talked about holistic health, organic food and our modern world of processed food and disease. We talked about health retreats, yoga and meditation and we learned and discussed a future that “could be”.