Our Christmas was a quiet one as expected. Sebastian received his "Yellow Car" and "Bike" from Father Christmas, so there was much relief when his prayers had been answered. I decided this was going to be the lowest key, lowest fuss, lowest stress and lowest effort Christmas I could make it and I succeeded! We broke away from our Christmas morning tradition of neighbourhood children filling our lounge room with excited shrills, ice cold eggnog, music and lots of laughs. We also put aside our Vegan or Plant based diet and ordered BBQ Free Range Chickens and pre-made salads!! Gasp!!
On Christmas morning we gathered up some things, packed our bathers and some of Seb's new toys, picked up our pre-ordered chickens and headed for Mum's new residence which is a 3 minute drive away! She now lives in a retirement village which has many facilities including tennis courts, heated indoor swimming pool, games room with 2 pool tables, bowling green, dining rooms and beautiful landscaped gardens. All these facilities are available for the residents and their families to use whenever they are available.
With the village virtually empty, we had the place to ourselves as all the other residents were with their families for the day! I thought we could have a swim, eat our lunch, then maybe have a game of pool or take Sebastian out onto the tennis courts to ride his new bike. However things didn't quite go to plan as Mark did not want to get in the pool. So while we splashed about in the cool water, he sat in a hot and humid environment which resulted in him needing to have a lie down. After lunch he was still quite flat and did feel like any activity and simply laid down on the floor of the games room while I showed Sebastian the art and skill of a pool table for the first time. Frustrated, I decided to pack everyone up and head home. I did my best and Sebastian seemed to enjoy the day, so I guess that was the main thing.
The following day Mark's family (Brother, Sister and Father) arrived from Mount Gambier. As this was the first time they had ever come to Adelaide for Christmas, I was excited and very thankful that they made the trip. They stayed in a motel, so there was no stress or pressure on me and Sebastian was overjoyed to see them, play with them and receive more presents. Else must of been a little upset that she was left out of the gift giving process, as she decided she would eat their Christmas Cards in retaliation. While that would be a minor problem in general, the cards enclosed money and X-Lotto tickets, but thankfully these were salvaged before complete destruction had been accomplished!
That morning Sebastian and I had a little chat. His behaviour leading up to Christmas had been appalling and I had been tempted to cancel everything due to the extremity of the tantrums and nastiness. Bed time had been particularly bad which was so very unusual for him as he has always been pretty good about going to bed. So one morning, in a calmed state, we talked and I asked him if his bed was a problem. He said it was and that it was "making him sick". He had vomited in his bed around 10 days prior and even though I had cleaned everything, he seemed to have some association to that horrible night. As we had been planning to purchase a new bed before our worlds turned upside down, I decided a little bed shopping was in order.
We ended up at Ikea and Sebastian's dream bed was purchased as well as a few accessories. Now all we needed was delivery and some help with assembly!
With Mark's family around, Mark seemed to pep up and he seemed more like himself. Meals were easy (BBQ and pre-bought salads and BBQ Chicken and salads) so we could just relax, play with Sebastian and marvel at how quickly he mastered his new bike!
One afternoon, once the lunch dishes were cleaned up, I decided to make a start on the new Ikea Bed. Mark seemed a little weak so he had a rest in the lounge room, while I grabbed some tools and made a start on dismantling the old bed. Soon I had a little help from my Sister-in-law and before long, it became a "girl-power" challenge to build this dream bed. Things went relatively smoothly and we were on a roll and feeling quite proud of ourselves, until we got to the end of the project when we realised that one piece had been put on backwards! Half the bed needed to be unscrewed and changed around and this took nearly as long as the whole assembly had done. By this stage we were getting quite tired, thirsty and hungry. With the drinks fridge lacking in Beer and Sebastian nagging "is it finished yet?" while swinging from the framework, I sent the boys out on a beer run. Never before had I wanted a Beer so badly (I am a wine drinker usually). By seven thirty Sebastian was asking "Um Mum, are we going to have dinner today?" so I sent the boys out again for Fish & Chips so we could finish this masterpiece without further interruption.
At last it was done and we could stand back and be proud that "we did it" and Sebastian learned that woman are quite capable of driving a drill and building things. And from that night on, there has not been a single protest when it comes to bedtime!
With Mark's family leaving again, life was back to taking a day at a time and morning visits to the hospital for radiotherapy. Mark seemed to slip backwards again, sleep quite difficult, moods and short temperedness a daily occurrence. I find this particularly difficult as I seem to be unable to make him happy and I tip-toe around Sebastian so as to keep him happy and not have him scream or tantrum which then upsets Mark even more. It was becoming so very draining and I was running out of fuel fast. With New Year fast approaching I dared not ask Mark what he felt like doing until the last minute.
We ended up at West Beach with Fish and Chips (yes again) and this simple plan seemed to be mis-communicated several times over. But in the end, we got there and that's all that matters. We settle down with our picnic and enjoy the peace and quiet until Sebastian needs to go to the toilet, and not the type you can just do on the beach! So Seb and I made the trek back up the beach to the public toilet while Mark sat back and relaxed. Locked! OMG! Walked around the corner to the Surf club and finally made it to a toilet, only for Sebastian to tell me that he no longer wanted to go! No amount of talking or persuading was going to make this little boy poop, so we trekked all the way back to the beach, steam billowing from my ears!
Ten minutes later...you guessed it...off we go again, up the beach, up the ramp, past the public toilets and around the corner into the surf club. This time a bribe of chocolate would help. Thank goodness I threw some in last minute. Success at Sunset! Back on the beach, rugged up, glow sticks on, sparklers sparkling, we watched the 9.30pm Glenelg fireworks and we could relax and enjoy being together at this special time. For us, it was midnight and it was wonderful.
New Years day and another swim in "Oma's Pool" and this time Mark joined in and I think he might of even smiled a little! Today, (two days later) I am starting to feel a little better as the end of radiotherapy draws near and we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Our chat with the Radiotherapy Doctor went well and again, more explanations were given to many questions. Satisfied that we had some plans for the near future, we could start to feel happy and maybe we could even start to plan that holiday we had talked about. A chance for us to be together as a family, relax and be happy and give Mark the chance to heal. Until..the phone call...
As luck (or not luck) would have it, we reassessed all our finances in July of last year and then of course three months later, we make a claim. Hmmm, very suspicious it would sound or you could say, gee, a greater power was looking out for us. The insurance company however, does not seem to believe in a higher power and seems to believe that Mark should never have been accepted for this policy due to his medical history! Yes, a Medical History which includes going to the doctor once in 2009 and once in 2011 with lethargy, or just feeling rundown and tired. Tests were done, all came back normal. So...you tell me Mr Insurance Man (or woman) what part of that Medical History seems suspect to you?
Furious, I rang the Bank Manager who had suggested we take out this insurance (his idea, not ours) and I told him that he might want to reconsider selling this insurance to future customers as it does not seem to be worth the paper it's printed on. He was shocked and asked me to write him an email with the details so he could forward it on to the "powers to be".
So now we wait. Wait for the official "in writing" rejection letter from the insurance company before we can take it any further, wait for Centrelink to process some kind of assistance payment and hope that we can make our savings last until some miracle happens! To date we have received one mortgage payment and that's it! Lucky we are careful with our money and had something to fall back on, otherwise we would be in a whole other world of pain!
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