One of the biggest challenges I faced in those last six months of my degree, was my Mum’s health. During our massive adventure in Borneo and Bali, Mum had experienced several angina attacks while staying in the aged care home. This was highly unusual for her and I put it down to the stress of us being away and her not being in her home surroundings, even though she was in a familiar place.
A few weeks later and I began my final semester of student clinic along with a business subject. Luckily, I only needed to be on campus one day a week, albeit an extremely long day from 7.30am until 6pm, and missing a day was not an option due to the compulsory nature of clinic and classroom theory hours.
Only two weeks in and Mum became increasingly unwell and suddenly seemed to age twenty years. For the first time ever, she actually looked every one of those 92¾ years. Her heart was racing, she was sweating and she was moaning, so I called an ambulance, despite her refusal. Thankfully, she was admitted into Flinders Private Hospital where she was to receive much better care than a public hospital.
Four days later, she was released as she seemed perfectly well as she danced around the corridors of the cardiac ward, with simply a medication to slow her heart rate down. But her condition began to deteriorate again, so I took her to her local GP who knew her well and would understand that her condition was not “normal”. Anyone not knowing her would simply think, “She is just old, she is bound to slow down and look old and frail”. Thankfully, we agreed on the same blood testing investigations. I suspected that she had a bladder infection, which the doctor confirmed with laboratory testing. Her blood markers were completely off the charts in all kinds of directions, leaving both myself and the doctor very confused. We tested urine, blood and stools and treated the infection with both allopathic medicine and nutritional medicine. A CT scan was also completed, as her entire abdomen was extremely tender to the touch.
Fearing the worst, the doctor and I were both surprised that the scan showed no colon cancer as we had both suspected. There was however, a small lesion on her pancreas, but nothing more was discussed about this. The amount of care that she needed during this time was nothing short of “full-time”. She could not get out of bed or her chair, and she could not walk unaided. For weeks, she did not leave her apartment as she couldn’t tackle the one step down from her place to mine. I would attend doctor’s appointments on her behalf to discuss pathology results and her progress, and I arranged for carers to come in for the day I spent at Uni. I was exhausted and again very very alone. At Uni, my colleagues rallied around me, fetched me tea or coffee, gave me much needed hugs, allowed me to cry and supported me as much as they could. But at home, I felt the weight on my shoulders as Sebastian and I had to do everything for her. I texted a friend, telling her my world had been upside down and could we meet. The reply came more like an appointment time than a friendship. She never asked if I was ok or what had rattled me so much. This compounded my loneliness and realisation that I was in this alone…again. Thankfully another friend offered me support over the phone, allowed me to talk and cry and helped me to find some inner strength to keep going.
The memories of caring for Mark came flooding back, front and centre. I constantly felt overwhelmed and Sebastian had to pull his weight more than ever before. He even had to do the cooking one night a week while I was at Uni. He had the help of a carer most of the time to do the cooking, until the carers changed and he was left to cook on his own. But even that required a lot of organisation and planning from me, to ensure I gave him an easy recipe to follow and the ingredients were in the fridge or left out on the bench for him to find.
As each week passed, I continued my nutritional support, and for the first time, Mum was actually compliant with taking supplements, and to my surprise, she started to improve. While I fully understand and know the healing power of nutrition and the body’s’ ability to heal, I also know that anyone elderly, especially over 90, will often not be able to heal very effectively or not to full capacity. But here she was, getting out of her chair, not needing her walking aids so much and then one day, I found her in the kitchen rummaging around in my fridge! Her newest blood tests also showed massive improvements from the blood taken just five weeks prior, as it seemed everything was returning back to her baseline levels.
Eight weeks later and she was back to full health and more active than ever. I was dumbfounded at her body’s resilience and healing ability. It was only weeks later when I needed to write a case study for Uni, that I was given printed results of all her tests and discovered that the lesion on the pancreas had a name (intraductal papillary mucinous neoplasia [IPMN]) and gallstones had also been detected yet these had never been discussed. I researched IPMN, compared all the pathology and everything lined up perfectly. She had suffered from acute pancreatitis, although it had not reached the point of detection on the CT scan and therefore not officially diagnosed. I know I played a big part in healing her, and I wrote my paper on her case with confidence and all the pathology evidence and associated research. She reached her 93rd Birthday as well as seeing another Christmas and had the pleasure of another visit from my cousin from Germany; And I lived to finish my degree and tell the story!
As the New Year came and went and my cousin returned to her homeland, it was time to go full-thrust into starting my business. With most of the planning already done and my ideal clinic room secured, I worked tirelessly to prepare for my new business venture. I took ownership of my leased room on the 15th January and again, with only Sebastian’s help, we moved all my equipment in and setup the room. It was perfect, just as I had imagined. I share the building with a group of young and energetic holistic Osteopaths and the most wonderful and experienced receptionist anyone could ask for. I felt at home right away and was welcomed by this tight group of professional practitioners. I simply couldn’t feel more blessed and supported by my peers. Our modalities complement each other beautifully and we refer each other regularly. The thought of paying rent is still daunting and sometimes the fear and low confidence pops up and presents itself. But I am learning to say “Hi” to it and say “Thank you for your concern” and then just get on with what I do best. With each potential client that I talk to, each business that I partner with and each client that I see, I feel more and more confident and totally elated in the knowledge that I am doing what I am meant to be doing. I have Divine help, I know that. There are too many coincidences for there not to be. This gives me incredible comfort, to know Mark is with me, presenting me with information when I need it, and instilling that confidence that only he knew how to do.
While the adjustment to working from home, to working in a business office has been somewhat unsettling and difficult, I absolutely love going to work each day. Never has my life felt so right, at least, not since Mark passed away. The loneliness is still there, very much, and I am looking at ways of balancing that with other activities such as dancing or meeting new people through “meet-up groups”. But these activities require effort and stepping out of my comfort zone and the security and familiarity of being at home with my young man, playing video games and cuddling up to a movie with him. But I know I need to get out there, have some fun with other adults and start to enjoy life again. I talk to my clients about finding “balance” and I too must find this balance, no matter how difficult it may be.
Congrats on your degree and success.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well in all your endeavors. Blessings as always Hardo