Friends are wonderful to have, share a laugh with, have a meal with, maybe even a movie or a night out, but when life gets tough, everyone is busy with their own problems and life situations, and that is perfectly ok and understandable.
I have been a very independent person since my first marriage failed and never again did I want to rely on a man to get me through life. But I was only 20 when I first married and I had no idea what life was about. When I met Mark, I was in a position of power. A manager in the male dominated field of IT and I always had to work harder than others to prove my worth.
When Mark and I began living together, we had a mutual respect for each other. We both valued each others opinions, ideas and skills and together we were an awesome team, both at work and at home and at parenting. While I never relied on him, it was so very nice to share the load of life with someone equally as capable as me. Carrying that load now solo is hard, draining and exhausting. It's not that I am not capable, its just a lot. Every decision, if it is financial, time away, what to eat, what activities and sports should Seb do, just e-v-e-r-y thing, is up to me. No one to discuss with, bounce ideas with, just me, myself and I.
Imagine my shock when one Monday evening, I park my car in a well lit side street at Glenelg, to attend a function at the Grand Hotel. After the function, I decide to have a drink with a friend so we could just have a good chat about how crazy life can be. I return to the place that I left my car, only to find a pile of glass on the ground and no car. In shock, I ring my friend and she quickly arrives with her car and drives me home, while I contact the police.
Days later two men were arrested for stealing cars by towing them away, cars that usually cannot be stolen or driven without the original key. I was in shock for days, hoping and praying that my beautiful newish car that I had only purchased in January this year, would be found and returned to me. But alas, it was not to be. Dismayed but still hopeful that everything would work itself out, I picked up a hire car (as part of my insurance) and went on with my life, occasionally looking at car sales websites and taking the odd car for a test drive. Weeks go by, the car all but lost and the prospect of having to deal with "Car Salesman" not my idea of a good time. A single mother with a young child, many of those vultures were secretly rubbing their hands together. I resisted many times, from kicking them in groin and simply walked away.
The stresses of study and exams has now started to kick in and it has now been three and a half weeks since my car disappeared. I keep telling myself, it's just a car, get over it and buy another. But there was something special about that car. It had so many gadgets and special features, a top of the range model for it's year. It was also my first big, financial, bold move as an individual to purchase this particular car. I had little advice or help from anyone and it was a decision based on "gut feel". It represented ME. This was MY car, not OUR car that was bought for me as my last car had been.
I waited anxiously for the insurance company to give me the payout figure, which was to be "market value". Another weekend passed us by and still no word. The loan car due back in just a few days, I started to push the company harder to give me a figure so that I could properly negotiate with car dealers. Eventually the phone call came and my heart sunk as the value provided was some $7,000 less than I had originally paid. Already anticipating this, I kindly asked who I needed to speak to regarding the valuation. I quickly did some research and made the call. Within 2 hours, I had brought the price up over the "book value" price, and am now in a much better financial position to actually replace the car with another of equal or better standing.
As an ex-IT person, I do love technology and gadgetry. Leather seats, alloy wheels, wipers that automatically come on when the window gets wet, headlights that automatically come on when it gets dark and the ability to play music from my collection on my phone or from my music subscription, are all features that I loved so much and made that car special and individualised for me. Maybe it is all the years of hanging out with Mark that has influenced me in that way, who knows. But at least that stress is over and I feel quite accomplished at recovering most of the money that I lost from that vehicle, when most people said it couldn't be done. I do love proving people wrong! Maybe it is my defiant nature, I don't know why. When someone says "you can't do that", I say, "just watch me".
So for now I will return the loan car, complete an exam and drive around in the "old girl" until the right car comes my way. I'm not going to compromise and buy an entry level vehicle. If I have to wait until I have more money, then so be it. Uni lectures are over for this year and I only have exams to go in to the city for. I can use public transport if need be. Either way, I will manage. The right car will come along and will be waiting for me to swoop in and drive it away. And those male chauvinistic car salesman better watch out or I may just lose all self control and kick them where it hurts. I have been through so much pain, hurt and loss, I can deal with this and again, Sebastian will learn this life lesson of resilience and self-belief and if this is the purpose of this whole situation, then so be it. It was worth it.
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