But I want you to know, while we have cried a river, we now feel strong and ready to move forward. Last Saturday night, we celebrated Valentine's Day. Now I know that it wasn't the 14th of February, but for some reason, and nothing to do with our current situation, I just thought it was last weekend. I have been enjoying the new season of MKR and had come up with some menu ideas. You see, for the past few years, we have celebrated Valentine's Day by cooking up a 3-course dinner at home and expressing our love for each other and our love for good healthy food. This year, we decided we would celebrate alone and organised for Sebastian to have a sleep-over.
We started the day with our favourite Saturday morning breakfast of Eggs Benedict with Salmon, and then took Mark to Yoga, so he could complete his final session and say goodbye to his instructor. He had been very dedicated to his yoga for the past 18 months and rarely missed a session. Sebastian and I headed for the supermarket to buy all the ingredients for our special dinner. Sebastian has been so wonderful. Helping out, not complaining and giving lots of hugs and random "I love you". We shared a cold chocolate and then headed home to unpack and then pick up Mark again from Yoga.
As it was a really hot day, we spent the afternoon at Mitcham Shopping Centre where we enjoyed lunch and the Paper Planes movie. Once home again, Sebastian was totally excited about his sleepover and couldn't wait to leave. Ten minutes later, the house was quiet and we were left to open a wine and plan the cooking of our dinner. But as we started sipping our wine, we started expressing our feelings for each other, for the situation, for how we were going to tell Sebastian and what we thought we should do next. Before long our deepest thoughts and fears spilled out. We cried a lot, but we also expressed it ALL!
Feeling emotionally lighter, we started cooking and our first course came out effortlessly. Potato and Zucchini Rosti stack with Salmon and Cream Cheese filling. We set up a table in our front room (usually reserved for our guests) so that we may watch the sunset and enjoy the cool air-conditioning. We played music while we cooked and we just enjoyed being together and of course, eating!!
Second course was a Pepper Steak Roast with Horseradish Sauce, Brussel Sprouts & Chorizo and smashed pumpkin. Now I know you are probably thinking, what...red meat?? Well yes, we do enjoy an occasional piece of really good quality red meat and this was the first time this year we had eaten something like this and it was truly wonderful, tender and cooked to perfection.
Last course was a Chocolate & Raspberry Chocolate Cake with Homemade Ice-cream. A perfect finish to a perfect and healthy meal. Even the ice-cream was made by simply blending frozen bananas, frozen mango, raw cocoa powder and vanilla. So easy, so delicious and nothing nasty.The evening was so perfect, we forgot to look at the sunset!! We had closed the curtains for our first course as the sun was strong, hot and unbearable, with the intension of opening them again to watch the sky turn red. After dinner we sat on the balcony and talked and talked. We laughed and remembered the times when we first met, when we finally decided to become a couple and the joy of having our little baby boy. Our lives together over the past 10 years have been rich, full and productive.
Sunday brought about a different set of challenges. If you know Mark, you know he loves his car and he has been trying to install new racing seats into "her" for many months now, but that's another story. Anyway, he had also been waiting months to take his car to a special workshop for a service and to review some performance issues the car was having. Less than two weeks ago the service was done and one car seat had been installed while the other sat in his office waiting. So I decided to help him to put in the second seat, with the intension of then going for a drive down the coast. That seat was a job and a half and it took quite a while and even needed some yoga skills to get in underneath the seat and bolt it all in securely. Sebastian grew tired of waiting, bored and grumpy and we grew more frustrated, tired but also determined to get it in. Finally...success!
The boys washed the car and made it shine, but by now we had lost the desire to go for a drive and Mark was feeling tired. Late in the afternoon, I finally dragged everyone out of the house and we headed down to Brighton for some Fish & Chips on the beach.
Mark is taking Dexamethazone again and you may remember from years ago, this does not agree with him at all. This steroid drug is a powerful anti-inflammatory and necessary to reduce the inflammation in his head around the tumour, but it keeps him awake at night and makes him tired during the day. But with the aid of some sleeping tablets and our wonderful new memory foam mattress, he slept well and awoke Monday morning feeling bright and energised. I took Sebastian to school, completed some work in my office and by 11.30am, we were on the road, in the "red rocket" heading south to Port Elliott with Mark proudly at the wheel.
The car performed well and we found a lovely spot for lunch before heading to the coastline to walk and "sit on a rock". This is a very spiritual place for us and somewhere we go when life gets a little too difficult, decisions need to be made and the body just needs to stop and breathe. We don't make the journey nearly often enough. We talked, soaked up the warm sunshine and just sat in necessary silence. Walking back to the car we stopped for ice-cream before heading home. Another beautiful time spent together, feeling strong, focussed and ready.So with Tuesday came phone calls to make appointments for surgeons and oncologists, but our favourite and most compassionate doctor (the radiotherapy oncologist) rang us later in the day to tell us that the news was not good and that surgery was not going to be possible. Funnily enough, we had already almost made the decision to decline surgery as we knew that the position of the tumour would mean permanent damage to the left side of Mark's body, to what extent we didn't know, but it would be significant we were sure. So basically the Medical Profession are out of options, perhaps chemotherapy, but it's a long shot at best.
So I have been looking into other options such as Complementary Medicine and since I am studying it, it makes sense to see if there is something that could offer some assistance. As it turns out, Traditional Chinese Medicine can offer some help and as fate has it, one of my lecturers at my new college is a practitioner and knows many others in the industry. So various emails and phone calls have been made and I now await answers. Can we get help in Adelaide or do we travel to Sydney? That I don't know yet, but I do know that Mark's family will be coming tomorrow, to support us and spend time with Mark. Having them here will be a great help and will keep Sebastian company.
We have yet to talk to Sebastian, and we nearly did last night. He has been complaining of stomach aches and just feeling sad, but not knowing why. Our son is very intuitive, just like his parents, so tomorrow and Friday he will stay home from school and we will tell him that his Dad is sick again, his family from Mt Gambier are coming and we may need to travel to Sydney to see a special doctor who may help. It will be a lot for him, but we feel strong enough now that we can confidently talk to him and give him the love, strength and support he will need, to get through the next few months.
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