The day after surgery and we all breathe a sigh of relief. It has been the toughest 24 hours of our lives, but with the overwhelming support from friends and family, we are getting through it.
Yesterday (surgery day) the whole family spent the morning with Mark. Sebastian and I arrived early and Mark seemed in very good spirits. I had spent some quality time with him the evening before and we had some very good conversation. We had both heard some positive stories that day and we were filled with yet more "signs" of hope and that there can be life after brain surgery.
By the time I left the hospital, my nerves and butterflies were gone and we both felt a sense of calm. It was going to be ok, we just knew it and there was no more doubt.
The morning was spent waiting for news. When would he be called in for surgery? When would they prep him for surgery? By 12.30pm, Seb and I just had to leave, although we did not want to. But I had to ensure Sebastian had something to eat and some time to rest and I knew that his family would stay until the time came. As it turned out, the theatre staff came at 1pm and asked why he was not ready for surgery!! Suddenly there was a mad rush to change clothes and put on stockings and race down to theatre! There was no time for tears and lengthy goodbyes, just "see ya later on", and with that he was wheeled away!
Sebastian has been nothing but a pillar of strength, never complaining, never asking why Daddy isn't coming home, never breaking down. He has kept me strong and kept me going. He has been sleeping well day and night, the mental stress obviously tiring him. I have had many people offer to look after him, have him sleep over, but to not have him with me just would not feel right. We need each other more than ever.
The afternoon was spent with family and with sorting out German Costumes! I needed to keep busy and keep my mind focused on something else. Removing the clutter from my family room also gives me a sense of relief as I see my house that has been a total mess for months, slowly start to resemble the home it used to be.
By 5.30pm the family were growing restless. Why haven't we heard anything? Perhaps you should ring! I had been avoiding this but at 5.45pm I made the call and found out he was just about to be moved into recovery. By 6.30pm I had the call from the doctor saying that everything went well and as expected, no nasty surprises. Mark was awake, he knew where he was, what the day was and even the date. He also asked the doctor to call me and told the doctor my mobile phone number!
The news was nothing short of a "Miracle". He really was ok. Tears of joy flowed freely as did a welcome alcoholic beverage. My tears however did not come and still have not. The emotion is there, I feel it's strength. I was sure writing this would open the floodgates but about halfway through writing this I received an IT Support call! A serious IT Support call. It's the kind of helpdesk call you never want to get. "The swim centre's main system is down" and no amount of switching it off and on again will bring it back. Perhaps it's a sign. In order for Mark to live, something else had to die and this PC was the sacrifice to the IT Gods!!
Crazy isn't it? Maybe I am going a little mad! I knew that I would not be able to handle such a situation without the support of my amazing husband, as he is always my calming force and my technical help when things get tough. So I rang Andrew, my Ex and my Ex Business Partner. I told him the situation and he was more than happy to assist and send out an engineer immediately to help me out.
As I look at the time I realise that I just don't have the time or the strength to do the work I wanted to do this morning. The house is so quiet. Sebastian is in Childcare, the dog is playing next door and all I can hear is the clocks tick tick ticking.
I spent last night at Mark's bedside, washing away the signs of the surgery, feeding him ice chips and massaging his legs as they forgot to hookup the machine that was supposed to do this! When I first saw him I was a little taken aback by his big fat lip. He looked like he had just come off the football field! But when he smiled and thanked me so much for being there with him, all I saw was the man I love. He told me he felt "unbelievably good!" He could remember everything. I said, yes, but what about code and the projects you were working on last week. He said, "YES, EVERYTHING!!"
He couldn't believe it and he hoped the surgeon who did the operation would come and see him in the morning so he could shake his hand. Personally I want to hug him and kiss him, but that may be inappropriate!
His observations were being done every half and hour and he was passing them all with flying colours. Motor strength good on both sides, blood pressure slightly high, but that is not a bad thing, he was hungry and asking for food, but had to wait until 11pm. He was so happy, so very tired, but so happy. I can't believe it, I have my husband back.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. Clearly if enough people all pray together, miracles do happen. And yes, you can hug me now and tears of happiness will flow. I wish I could thank each and everyone of you reading this. Even if I don't know you, I know that you have played a part in bringing him back to me. I know you will understand if I don't reply to every email, text or letter. This is my way of communicating my gratitude and the way that I can best utilise my time to communicate so that I can get back to the important job of getting my man back on his feet and reuniting him with his amazing son.
We now have to wait for the lab results to come back to see if we are dealing with cancer or not. Whatever the results, we will continue soldiering on, one day at a time.
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